There were quite a few new adventures for our little family in 2015. A lot of change. A lot of new things. Too many goodbyes to count. A number of fresh starts and opportunities. Most of our life turned upside down, head over heels. We lost all sense of calibration.
Because of all that newness and change, our family of five has found ourselves grieving for most of 2015. Of course, there's been a lot of goodness with the new, but we left a lot behind and it's caused waves of grief for each of us - our three littles included - in ways and at times that we didn't entirely anticipate.
Over 6 months into our move from SoCal to Northern Indiana and our kids still say every.single.day, "I miss fill-in-the-blank about California." Or "I want to go back to our old house." Or some mash up of those two grief statements. Sometimes those words have been spoken through trembling lips and tear-filled eyes. Other times anger and hostility have been behind the words. A lot of times, they just sorrowfully state what they're missing.
As my little ones have wisely articulated their grief and loss in the only life they've known/remember, I've found myself saying these two words hundreds of times the past 6 months:
Sometimes I've met their tears with my own. Other times anger and hostility have been been in my voice too. But I've found that those words have such great power.
They have the power to connect me to three of my most important people on the planet.
They have the power to heal, knowing we are not alone in our grief.
Saying those two powerful words has brought comfort to each other.
Validating their loss has validated my own.
Honoring their vulnerability has given me courage to yelp for help to my people when I'm missing something so terrible it hurts.
They aren't hard words; my Kindergartner could spell those words months ago. But they are such important words.
There is a time for everything under heaven, including a time to say "Me, too". May you find yourself connecting, healing, comforting, validating, and being vulnerable in this new year through the power of that little phrase.