A Lament for Women in Leadership

A while back I was asked to contribute a piece, a lament, on the struggle for women in leadership. I was asked to write my own psalm, a reflection on Psalm 40, which speaks to an ache in David's heart. As I wrote this lament, the words flew off my fingers as I asked God - once again - HOW LONG we would sing this song of injustice, sexism, oppression, and inequality? A few tears even fell for myself, for my daughter, and for all the women in leadership I know who have to fight for their place at the leadership table.

These were the words I wrote. You won't believe what happened after I submitted this lament...

Waiting. No one likes waiting. Maybe least of all me. I’ve waited for my entire life to see your Church reflect your heart to see men and women lead your people. Equally. With skillful hands and integrity of heart [Psalm 78:72].  I’ve waited for your Church to wake up and get it that we have as much to contribute to the Kingdom as men do! I wish your Word was painfully clear about our contribution equality!

Too many times I’ve seen women in the pit of despair because they have not been allowed to use their voice, their gifts, their experiences, their very calling to build the Kingdom. You have not stopped them from leading and teaching, Lord; your people have.

My sisters and I have cried when we’ve been told “no”, “be quiet”, “this is not your place”. We need your rescue, God. We desperately need you to bring good news in places where we are pushed down, snuffed out, and negotiated around. Your Kingdom suffers when we are relegated to roles and ministries and places where we are not gifted or passionate. How long?

Our circumstances may not change, our culture may never fully reflect your heart for your Church, but you never change. You are solid and steady and trustworthy. When your Church may fail me, I can still be amazed by who you are. I will find my hope in who you are, not in an outcome – a promotion or a platform or power. I will receive a new song that you give me and sing to the rooftops of who you are and what you’ve done.  I will serve you fully and contribute my best to your Kingdom, even in the midst of broken systems and unjust theology. Give me the courage I need to be faithful today.

How long will we sing this song? When I grieve for what your Church is not yet, I must remember that you are a God of justice and have called ordinary people like me to bring justice on earth as it is in heaven [Matthew 5:10]. Help me not be afraid to speak out and speak for those who do not have a voice.

You have written your calling upon my heart and I will not forsake you. I will take joy in following you no matter what anyone else says.  Help me listen to you more and more and follow you obediently. Thank you for my calling, even if it’s not honored among others.

The author who asked for my contribution with this specific piece was thrilled with what I wrote. The publisher was too. The distributor, Lifeway Christian Bookstores, was not.

In fact, Lifeway refused to carry the product with my piece included. REFUSED! My piece was a very small part of the overall project, but they were adamant my piece had to be REMOVED from the project or they wouldn't carry the product.

So it was removed. The author was very upset, but it wasn't his decision. The publisher caved because they couldn't afford Lifeway NOT to carry it. In the end, my piece was axed from the larger project because of money and Lifeway's power.

Even more, this piece rings true in my spirit... HOW LONG will we have to sing this song of injustice, sexism, oppression, and inequality?

Welcome to aprildiaz.com

I started blogging at Plan A Ethiopia in early 2009 when we moved from a season of devastating infertility into a hopeful adoption journey. Since then, I’ve been amazed at the power of the global community. After nearly 200,000 visits on my adoption/parenting blog, this website was born.

I’m a big believer that “God’s word to us is almost always for the other” (an idea attributed to Dietrich Bonhoeffer). Over the years I’ve fallen in love with multiple groups of people - and the interplay between them! - as I’ve worked with these amazing folks.

• Leaders
• Orphans and the foster care/adoption community
• Women, particularly working moms and vulnerable women
• Teenagers

Somedays, these are disconnected smatterings of people. Other days, they are inextricably bound. Everyday, they carry a part of my heart.

If you know me, you know that I’m a working paradox. I’m fierce yet tender, faith filled yet deeply struggling, fun yet stupidly serious, future focused and desperately practicing to “be here now”.

This site is truly a working expression of who I am and what I do. At my core, I’m all about team. My hope for this site is that it would create forums for conversation and action. And that God would use my voice to build a collective voice into a community.

When I started blogging in 2009 I had no idea what was to come. May this site also be immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine [Ephesians 3:20-21].

Thanks for stopping by! Join the journey with me.

"This is Unnatural!"

When we signed up to adopt to kids back in July 2009 we knew it would be hard. Most every parent we've talked to since then has knowingly chuckled, sighed, or pitied us when we told them we were adopting 2 little ones at the same time. We're grateful for those informed parent responses because never once did we think this was going to be simple. They were right!

On maybe our second or third day parenting Judah and Addise, Brian was about to claw his eyes out with some reason Judah was bugging him. Totally unedited he announced, "This is unnatural! Normal parents do not get a toddler and infant at the same time." I think we laughed. Maybe we cried. But he's right - this is an unnatural thing that just happened to our quiet, clean, predictable Diaz casa.

I've thought a lot about Brian's honest declaration over the past couple weeks. A lot about our lives these past few years has been unnatural. Infertility is unnatural. Children without parents is not natural. Paying exorbitant amounts of money to have a family is unnatural. Leaving your children halfway across the world for 2 months so more paperwork can be completed - UNNATURAL. Black children belonging to a white momma and brown daddy is unnatural.

There's not much that's natural about what's happened in our family.

It's at this point my theology bursts forth: Jesus adopting sinful children into his forever family is not natural. I wonder if the most unnatural phrase is Scripture is this: the Word became flesh. It was not natural for an all-powerful, holy God chose to enter the world as an orphan [Remember: Joseph essentially adopted Jesus as his son] in order to usher in redemption.

"So the Word became human and made his home among us.
He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness."
John 1:14

I've read John 1 countless times, but Brian's comment has drawn me to this passage again with fresh eyes. It is unnatural that the God who created the Universe made his home in a town where people wondered if anything good can come from there [John 1:46]. It was unnatural for God to come down to us. Wasn't there another way?

Nearly 3 weeks into parenting and a lot is feeling unnatural, but I find myself in good company and grateful for another way to identify with my God who took on flesh to show me his unfailing love and faithfulness.