Legit Sacrifice

One of the ways this adoption has messed me up is in how people are sacrificing on behalf of our babies. It literally brings me to tears in less than 9 seconds. I think growing up middle class, Midwestern, American girl, I never grew to understand the true nature of sacrifice. I always had more than I needed. And giving to those in need has always come from a place of strategic budgeting and planned 'sacrifice'. Traveling and reading has done much to change my thinking and habits on sacrifice, but our adoption has taken my soul's transformation to a new level!

A few examples of how we've been blessed by our friend's and family's TRUE sacrifice:

• A few unemployed friends have given significantly to our babies.
• One family decided on an amount the give us. Then, whenever they wanted to go out to each or buy an unnecessary item, they'd put that money into Baby Ethiopia's fund.
• Two families are living at about poverty level made a donation to remind us how loved & supported we are.
• A single mom gave us a very generous gift.
  
• Another adoptive family who we barely know made an enormous gift.
• Many of my mom's friends who I've only met once or twice have given.
• One friend gave out of her wedding savings account.
• Another friend gave twice to our process because she "just got some more money, and what am I going to do with it?"
  
• Church planting friends gave a out of their own needs.

Why do I share this? It's not to give our friends a public ego boost. It's because it's truly challenged us. It's also because people have so creatively figured out ways to be a part of what God's doing in our family. This kind of sacrifice is legit and I want to be more like them.

Deep Breaths Today

Today I had to breathe deeply a couple times for 2 very different reasons.

Breath #1 :: I shared my infertility journey with our high school ministry today. This weekend marks 5 years that I've been on staff at Newsong. Hooray!!! As I sat in front of Fusion students today, I realized that many of those students I've been with since I came to Newsong. Emotional moment for me. As I shared my pain over the past couple years, I felt like I was sharing with friends, loved ones, young leaders of this world. It was a beautiful moment for me to share my life - my deepest pain - with the students I've lead for 5 years. A Circle of Life...

Breath #2 :: We finished our dossier paperwork!!!!!!!!! Read that sentence again because it's a big one. It was my goal to complete it by the end of August, and I win! I finished putting everything together & the dossier is over 1 inch thick. That's been my life for the past 3 months. Quite an accomplishment.

So tomorrow the dossier draft heads to our case manager. Once he approves it, we get it authenticated by the state, then authenticated by the U.S, then authenticated by the Ethiopian embassy, then sent back to CWA. After all that authenticating finalizes...our dossier is headed to Ethiopia and we're on the wait list!!!! Of course, our financial balance has to be paid and parent training completed, but I'm sure it will happen. I'm just praying it all happens at once so we don't have to sit on the dossier before we get on the wait list.

Please continue to pray for the 3 grants we are applying for (one grant already denied us because they are only supporting Chicagoland families): Shaohannah's Hope, Lifesong for Orphans, and ABBA's Fund.

Leaving Comfort for Courage

One of my dearest, oldest friends, Jeanne Stevens, wrote this on her blog. It describes and defines so much why and how we've pursued adopting 2 little ones. When you're finished reading this, check out their blog. It's incredible!

This is a piece I (Jeanne) wrote earlier this year when I was facing one of the regular occurring visitors in my life – FEAR. It has served as a reminder to me when FEAR comes knocking on my door – That my God is faithful and that He called me to courage not comfort.

Courage will always require an element of leaving. Leaving is just plain hard. When My 3 year old knows I’m about to leave he will often squeeze as hard as he can around my neck to lovingly manipulate me into staying one more minute.

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I know how he feels – because leaving comfort for courage makes me want to wrap my arms around every ounce of safety in my life – hoping if I hold on tight enough that I won’t have to taste the pain of the leaving what I know is inevitable.

Leaving comfort and safety looks and sounds sexy and attractive – but there is nothing sexy about it – in fact I have never felt so vulnerable, small, and needy…. words that are not known for their sex appeal.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to question your decision.
It will cause you to look around for the safety bars, seatbelt, and any kind of security button.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to try to make something happen… scheme, make phone calls, send out hail mary e-mails– anything to distract from sitting in the fear.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to doubt your abilities – you will look at everything that you have failed at in the past… failed relationships, failed financial decisions, failed leadership calls, – and you will wonder will you repeat those patterns and are they indicators to go out and look for comfort again.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to doubt the author of the calling on your life. Thinking that God is too busy to take care of your little fear

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to be jealous of your neighbors who seem to be perfectly content with their lives – you will wonder if you are some sort of crazy person that has a unhealthy propensity to live on the edge.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to look for the easy way out.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to pray like never before… wonder if you know any scripture to cast out the inner demon of doubt.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
cause you to white knuckle yourself around anything that feels secure and semi safe – even though you know earthly security and safety is a mirage and the place where Jesus is, is most where you want to be.

Moving from comfort to courage will…
Cause you to feel weak in the knees – a good indicator that you should stop standing up and get ON your knees..

Moving from comfort to courage will…
Cause others to question you… especially those that have found security to be a bedrock to build their lives on. You will be misunderstood, questioned, and perhaps even seen as foolish.

So today God I feel every one of these fears. I am terrified… straight up terrified. I am calling out to you to be a voice of truth and freedom. Tell me to settle down, to trust you and to release every one of these fears into your arms of faith. I know it is impossible to invite others into a life of obedience if I am unable to live it myself – so today I am re-upping my commitment to obey and be faithful.

I am doing this out of the spirit that lives within – my will wants to go get a job at a church and ask them to take care of all of this. But I know that is not YOUR will. Send your angels to tend to me as I feel the temptation to trust myself today – with obedience I am choosing to trust you.