Useful Time

I didn't expect that getting on the wait list would actually be hard...really tough. For 2 1/2 years we've been actively working on expanding our family, and when we got on the wait list that was officially the end of our active work. Wait. Now we just wait. For maybe a year or more, wait.

I didn't expect the tsunami of emotion that came with what I thought would be good news. So, I called a friend. My dear friend, Erin, is on the same journey that we're on, but they've been dreaming of adoption for a decade and have been on a wait list for a year. She gets it. She gets me. Over tacos and sitting next to her 4 year old son playing Star Wars on PS2, Erin passionately, convincingly shared how she's committed to being on this wait list as "useful time". Nothing is wasted to God, especially waiting. Erin pointed me - as she has countless other times throughout our journey - back to truth. She reminded me that during her own waiting she has actively read, learned, prayed, talked with people, advocated for adoption/foster care, and served. She has not wasted this past year.

Erin also reminded me that sadness and growth can co-exist. Just because I'm missing my babies, lamenting our separation DOES NOT MEAN that I am not growing. Contrary, I am expanding daily. And I am committed to not get stuck in my sadness but to make the most of these days of waiting and absorb the good and the bad.

I don't know what I'd do without Erin and many other friends who've walked closely with me over the past 2 1/2 years. If it weren't for them, I fear how much time I would have wasted thus far. Thank you, dear friends.

I will use this time well.

Wait List, Baby!

MASSIVELY EXCITING NEWS! That's right. Read that title link again - WE ARE ON THE WAIT LIST! Seven months after our application was submitted, we are on the wait list for our babies. Yesterday was a very exciting day in the Diaz Casa as we found out that our dossier is on the way to Ethiopia. I've been anxiously awaiting talking with our case manager about the next steps of waiting, and I have more news to give you.

Please read this in prayer...

DISCOURAGING NEWS! We found out today that our wait time looks to be way longer than we expected. Honestly, I'm really discouraged and sad. Hopefully this makes sense...

• Where are we on wait list? Hard to say because everyone’s preferences are different. Our case manager will send us an estimate of other families with similar requests.
• What’s the estimated wait time? 9 months for infant girl OR
  2-4 months for infant boy, but about a 6 month wait of siblings with infant boy.
  PLUS 6 months after referral until we travel to get them! This is the biggest thing to pray against. It was 10-12 weeks when we started the process!!! The wait appears longer for 2 kiddos (compared to adopting 1) and longest for infant girl & older bro/sister. Not the kind of news we wanted.
  
• Good news: Our agency is working with 2 new orphanages that have about 15–25 kids each. Hopefully those 2 new orphanages will open up more kids.
  

Our case manager asked us to send her a list of preferences and what we are open for. She encouraged us to give her broader preferences as possible so we don’t be passed over with a potential referral match. (including age, gender, and gender order options)

DIAZ PREFERENCES as of today:

• Gender: 2 girls OR 1 boy and 1 girl
• Ages: Under 3 and Under 1
• Gender order of kids: Undecided
• Open to unrelated siblings: Undecided

Pray with us please for discernment in determining our preferences and for us to not get discouraged. The thought of NOT bringing home our babies for another15 months is near unbearable right now.

This process is teaching me so much. I am grateful for it.

Legit Sacrifice

One of the ways this adoption has messed me up is in how people are sacrificing on behalf of our babies. It literally brings me to tears in less than 9 seconds. I think growing up middle class, Midwestern, American girl, I never grew to understand the true nature of sacrifice. I always had more than I needed. And giving to those in need has always come from a place of strategic budgeting and planned 'sacrifice'. Traveling and reading has done much to change my thinking and habits on sacrifice, but our adoption has taken my soul's transformation to a new level!

A few examples of how we've been blessed by our friend's and family's TRUE sacrifice:

• A few unemployed friends have given significantly to our babies.
• One family decided on an amount the give us. Then, whenever they wanted to go out to each or buy an unnecessary item, they'd put that money into Baby Ethiopia's fund.
• Two families are living at about poverty level made a donation to remind us how loved & supported we are.
• A single mom gave us a very generous gift.
  
• Another adoptive family who we barely know made an enormous gift.
• Many of my mom's friends who I've only met once or twice have given.
• One friend gave out of her wedding savings account.
• Another friend gave twice to our process because she "just got some more money, and what am I going to do with it?"
  
• Church planting friends gave a out of their own needs.

Why do I share this? It's not to give our friends a public ego boost. It's because it's truly challenged us. It's also because people have so creatively figured out ways to be a part of what God's doing in our family. This kind of sacrifice is legit and I want to be more like them.