Holy [?] Week

Today is Easter. The day that changed everything. The day when LIFE became possible once again.

For the past several years, Lent and Holy Week have been predominantly contemplative, quiet, reflective, and holy days for me. These have been weeks where I've sensed God's presence in deeper ways and have noticeably grown closer to my Redeemer and Savior.

This year has been different. I fasted noise in my car [other than the noisiness of Judah and Addise attempting to out-jabber each other] because I couldn't figure out what else to give up. I felt like I've already given up so much: free time, sleep, personal space, my bed, going to the bathroom alone, sleeping in on Saturdays...And while every sacrifice has been unquestionably worth it, it's still stretched me. I told the Lord on Ash Wednesday, "I'm not sure what else I can give you." So, I [barely and with many exceptions] gave up music and phone calls while driving in hopes of hearing more from God. I'm not sure that I necessarily heard more from God, but the space definitely provided deeper breaths in the middle of our crazy days.

As I entered Holy Week last Sunday, I wondered how this year would be different.

I sat this week with a girlfriend who lost her baby at 22 weeks in utero. I wept as I listened to her grief and prayed with her. Yesterday, I celebrated another girlfriend's pregnancy at her baby shower while soberly remembering her previous miscarriage. Today, Easter Sunday, I wept at a grave site as one of my middle school students buried his mom. I sobbed holding my newly adopted daughter and watching this newly orphaned 14-year-old sing Green Day's "Time of Your Life" as his mother's funeral. Things were not as they should be. Things were exactly as they should be. The tension of Holy Week.

Years past, I used to attend 6am morning prayer at our church. I used to soak in more Scripture. This year the only thing that felt "holy" most days was when Judah and Addise both had clean diapers. Those were seemingly the only pure and set apart moments of my days!

Or maybe after they were freshly bathed, smelling all lovely as I rocked one of them to sleep.

Or maybe there was holy love when Judah gave me sweet kisses in the morning.

Or maybe there was a sacred moment when I chased my kids around the house to exhaust their boundless energy before dinner - giggling and squealing filled our home.

So, maybe I didn't start my days at 6am with a prayer meeting, but I'm learning new unforced rhythms of grace [Matthew 11, The Message]. And I'm finding God in the mundane and ordinary things.

In the words of the martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer,

"I'm still discovering, right up to this moment, that it is only by living completely in this world that one learns to have faith. I mean living unreservedly in life's duties, problems, successes and failures, experiences and perplexities. In so doing, we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God."

I suppose I'm learning to throw myself into the arms of God as I change diapers, feed and bathe babies, and love them unconditionally.

Today was our first Easter as a family. And as Addise's name rightly reflects, there is new life all around, even in darkness. O Happy Day. He's alive!

3 months home!

Today marks 12 weeks since we've been home as a family of four. No small feat, if I say so myself. In celebration and commemoration of this special day, here are some facts about our first 3 months as a family...

• 1 birthday :: We celebrated Addise's first birthday 3 weeks after we got home. Celebrating her birthday was a true celebration of life and growth in every way!
  
• 26 lbs :: Both our kids weigh 26 lbs. Judah is 19 months older than Addise, yet they weigh the same. Yet Judah's moved from the 1% to the 10% in weight and Addise's grown from the 50% to the 95% in weight. Let's say the American diet is doing them good.
• 12+ doctor visits in the past 12 weeks :: While our kiddos have been remarkably healthy, the scarce medical history and a few health issues have required us to make our doctor our best friend.
• 6 teeth :: Addise graciously waited to cut her first 2 teeth until the week we got her. She's yet to reveal any more these past 2 months. Judah, even at 2 1/2 years old only had 10 teeth, but he's cut 4 more teeth! More seem to be emerging every week.
  
• "Take them a Meal" :: The first 8+ weeks we didn't cook for ourselves. Meals and groceries were delivered multiple times a week thanks to our Newsong community and my family.
• 3 weeks and 10 weeks :: The first 3 weeks we were home Brian graciously received time off of work. I cannot imagine that time without him!!! My job gifted me with 10 weeks off - 5 weeks totally off, 5 weeks slowly working my way back to full time. It was perfect...exactly what we needed!!
• Family :: My family flew thousands of miles to spend a total of 20 days with us. Their posture was 100% of service and what was best for our kids.
• 1 Getaway :: We took off on our first overnighter this weekend to San Diego and had a blast.
• 1 Photo Session :: This week we were gifted with a family photo session. Not only did we capture Addise's first birthday, our 10th wedding anniversary, a handful of head shots for my speaking gigs, and MOSTLY our first professional pictures of our God-given family! [You gotta visit: http://www.hanachung.com/ to see our photographer's skills!]
  
• Sign Language and Words :: Judah has acquired at least 50 words that he understands and a handful of sign language words [more, thank you, please, I love you]. Addise's learned the sign language too, and now says: more, daddy, Judah, I did that [so we think], hi, and occasionally - momma. :) Most encouragingly, Judah seems to understand most everything we say to him. Breathe...accomplishment!
• First tattoos and piercings :: Just kidding. We're holding off on those for our kids. :)
  

All that on top of hundreds of kisses, countless moments of frustration, hours of lost sleep, endless giggles, ah-ha moments, hundreds of diapers, regular prayers for grace and mercy, confessions for forgiveness and help, hours of rocking babies to sleep, nightly wake-up calls for cuddles, calming or more Tylenol, a house littered with toys, cabinets and cupboards reallocated for baby products, shocking amounts of laundry...

...and a few tears in those heavenly moments when I realize "I'm a mom" and "you are exactly who I prayed for". Our family is truly a miracle.

I Love YOU!

My mom can't get enough of videos and pics of our kids. And why should she? We've been trying to make a few videos for just for her, per her request, so the other day I thought I'd put Judah to the test with his first sentence.

Before you take a look, we've been working on saying "grandma" and teaching him how to say "I LOVE YOU" in sign language. He got a little gangsta with it...which makes me a proud mama!

In other news, Judah busted out a few new teeth and more are coming in! He's repeating most things we ask him to say these days including: oatmeal, what's up?, Addise, patience [guess he's been hearing that word a lot!], bath, pee-pee, veggie straws, ball, and home. He's also become really great at saying his own name, which he says excessively and with pride. His vocab is growing leaps and bounds. Hard to believe that only 3 months ago he didn't know 1 English word.

Judah is a mix of the patient, helpful older brother,

and the one who leads Addise astray.

Hopefully, I'll get some more videos of him soon with some other words and sounds he's learned. He's exceptionally proud of his knowledge, but gets a little silly once the iPhone is brought out for performing. He is a goof, and we are astounded at his progress this past month. Happy and grateful!