Ridiculous Realities

In the past 3 weeks since our world was turned upside down, there have been a handful of of ridiculous thoughts that have played over and over again in my head...

First and foremost, we have three kids! When and how did this happen!?!?! Brian and I never imagined to be a family of five. God must be chuckling.

We've gone from zero to three kids in 15 months. This is the most ridiculous. In a "normal" family (whatever that is) it's perfect spacing to have a 3.5 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn. But we've fast tracked this baby. In one friend's words, "You are the most efficient family growing couple I've ever met." Thanks? I have two friends who've been faster family builders - going from 0-3 kids in 6 months and 9 months, but this is insane in my world. How God thought that we can handle this is saying something.

Our third child will be the racial minority in our family. This cracks me up. Though Asher shares our DNA and will likely look like us (vote currently is he looks a whole lot like me), he will be the minority child in our brood. Oddly, this makes me smile and amuses me at how God's built our family. Who knows if there will even be more color in our future?!?! :)

Each of our three kids coming home has involved a fair amount of pain and drama. Judah and Addise's painful journey home was expected and the reason I started this blog. I was not expecting pain or drama surrounding Asher's birth and homecoming. But arriving 7 weeks early after a week of tests, blood work, de-cellerated heart rates, umbilical cord wound around his neck twice, sitting breech, and hospitalization creates some drama. I was expecting to calmly bring our third child into this world and sweetly introduce you all to him. But his birth was met with desperate prayers, continuous updates, and now nearly 3 weeks in the NICU without a firm date when he'll come home. Geez, we really know how to be dramatic.

As I've been pumping milk for Asher in the wee hours of the morning, a couple Scriptures have re-centered me and reminded me of what God's up to in our lives...

"We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

 "Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning;
         For I trust in You;
         Teach me the way in which I should walk;
         For to You I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Even in the midst of knowing my sweet boy won't be home for Mother's Day, I know deep in my soul that God writes the best story for my life.

Looking forward to seeing the story continue to be written...


April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.