Love & Fear & Waiting

Recently, our case manager sent us this email that beautifully describes the adoption process. We are there!

When you distill all the feelings associated with international adoption, it probably comes down to two basic emotions – love and fear. Love for children you have never seen, thousands of miles away, is something that cannot be explained. Fear that it is never going to happen is probably easier to explain. A sense of helplessness, being totally out of control, is common and manifests itself in a myriad of ways.

[from another adoptive mommy's blog]
"Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in they way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands."

Thankful

This week we celebrated Thanksgiving with friends and family in Portland, and we couldn't help but to hope that next Thanksgiving we'll have our little ones celebrating this American holiday with us. Oh, that will be a great Turkey Day!

In the meantime, I've been thinking about all I'm thankful for this past year when it comes to our adoption.
Here are a few thoughts:

• I'm grateful for a husband who's been ever-loving, patient, tender, strong, and wise as we've totally partnered through our infertility and adoption process.
• Thankful that God clearly led us to adopt 2 little ones, instead of just 1 baby girl.
• Oh-so grateful for Betsy, Erin, and Christina who threw us our first 2 [donation] showers.
• Overwhelmingly thankful for the generous outpouring of donations to help us bring our babies home. We still can't believe so much was given so sacrificially and freely!
• Exceedingly thankful for my parents who've been so generous, supportive, and with us every step of our journey. Tears even as I type that...it means so much to have parents who still parent me as an adult.
• So grateful for the phone calls and emails I've received from those who share a similarly agonizing, painful journey that leads to so much inner change and joy. I'm grateful God's allowed me to be a part of your story!
• I'm humbled and grateful for God's patience with me as I take 2 steps forward and 1 step back in this transformation journey.
  

...FINALLY, I've been so grateful for YOU - friends, family, and those I've never met - sharing in this journey on our blog. Thank you!

Gotchya Day!

I cannot hardly wait for this day - Gotchya Day. This is the infamous, highly anticipated day in adoptive families when you finally get your child(ren). It's the day when you forever say, "I gotchya!" My new fellow adoptive mommy, Jill, sent me this link. Immediately, tears! Grab a tissue and enjoy the next 10 minutes of your life.



There were 2 aspects that prompted my tears, besides the fact that I miss my babies so much.

1. The solo tear of this momma when she kissed her baby girl for the first time. That single tear has so much hope, dreams, hard work, prayers, fears, and anticipation within it. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to contain it all into 1 tear. I predict a waterfall in my first kiss.
2. The kisses of the orphanage caregivers was overwhelming. These women [in orphanages all over the world] that care for orphans before they are placed in their forever families are amazing! They care for countless orphans - pour their love on them - and then send them into new families. That is tremendously humbling, sacrificial, and loving acts of service they give. God bless these women!

I hope you enjoy. And as you watch, would you pray for our little ones to join Brian & I in their forever family sooner than later?