I Love Her Hair!

It may sound silly if you're white [or at least not black], but one of my prayers for Addise is that she would LOVE her hair as she grows up. It is so beautiful and such a display of God's creativity. This video is a fun take on what I hope for my baby girl...

Before we brought Judah and Addise home, I was on a research fury to learn all I could about how to care for their hair. I scoured blogs and asked ridiculous questions to my black friends about what to do and not do. I was determined that my Ethiopian kids would NOT have "white momma hair". My mom thought it was "so like God" to give me kids with different hair than mine because I LOVE hair so much and was thrilled to learn how to care for and style their hair. She was right. I now probably spend more time and money on my kids' hair than I do my own. No joke. I'm obsessed with caring for it, styling it, and learning how to do it better.

One thing I learned very quickly after bringing J&A home was that it's not a "one size fits all" approach. Judah's hair is actually pretty different from Addise's. Seeing that we keep his hair pretty short [for now] his hair care routines are simple, but if we were to grow it out his routine would be different from Addise's. So, the past year I've been a student of their hair - what works and what doesn't and have adjusted along the way.

I've had a few fun comments and questions recent months about Addise's hair because it's so stinking awesome! So, I thought I'd post some thoughts on how we care for her hair. The overarching philosophy I've lived by is using natural, organic products as much as possible. Chemical-ridden products only dry out their hair and frizz their amazing curls.

One of a kind she is indeed. Curls curls curls!

• Wash - we only wash their hair once a week. Washing more than that dries it out. I've tried a number of products and nothing has earned my undying love and affection. However, I do really like California Baby shampoo and Kinky Curly shampoo.
• Co-Wash - we co-wash their hair 2-3 times/week, including the day we wash their hair with shampoo. Co-washing is simply washing their hair ONLY with conditioner. Dirt and product build-up will wash out in this process but the conditioner will moisturize their hair. We leave in the conditioner for at least 5 minutes and use a Tangle Teezer before we wash it out to brush out the knots. The best conditioner we've found to date is Bee Mine Avocado Cream. Brian swears Addise's hair has transformed since we've started using it. Also, we only "brush" her hair after we co-wash her hair.
• Coconut Oil - this is my newest find and I'm WILD about using this on her hair. It's irreplaceable in my opinion AND the cheapest product I've ever used. I use this every morning on her hair after I spray on her detangler. I apply it with my fingers and work through her curls.
• Blended Beauty - This is my favorite product line. They are natural products and provide a great assessment to discover what type of curls your child has and then recommends products to help their curls. I've fallen in love with their Satin Style reviver [can't find the link]. I use that every morning to detangle her bed head. Again, I only use my fingers to detangle her curls. I also use Butter Me Up [leave-in conditioner] and Curly Cake Shake [leave-in spray lotion detangler] sporadically and without method to my madness.
• Sleeping Cap - I also have a sleeping cap that we've used at bedtime for her [that we bought from Blended Beauty], but we've had issues with it staying on and stretching out. So, we really haven't used it much in recent days.
• Hair Cuts - We have yet to give Addise one. Her hair feels healthy and I shutter to think of cutting any curls. Honestly, the only curls we cut are the ones that get too tangled to brush out. Judah gets a short buzz from Brian every few months with our clippers.
• Styling - her default style is a headband on stay-at-home or rushed days. We have every color in the rainbow, are easy to put in, and keep her hair out of her face. If I want to do poofs [either half-head or 2 pigtails], I normally style after co-washing or put in a LOT of detangler to soften the process. One friend gives her daughter marshmallows when she's styling her daughter's hair. I let Addise brush her own teeth. :) I've found that though sometimes we fight each other through the process, it's become a great way to build attachment with my girl. We've yet to do any braids or twists...I can't bear to contain her curls for now and LOVE her growing fro!

That's our story. I'm sure it'll continue to morph as Addise's hair grows.

Here are some great resources I've learned from in the past couple years:

• Watch Chris Rock's "Good Hair" documentary about African-American women's struggle with hair. It was so helpful for us as we learned about our kids' hair. Watch the preview HERE.
• Happy Hair Girl blog
• Beads, Braids, and Beyond blog
• Chocolate Hair, Vanilla Care blog. This blog is great for multi-racial families and encourages natural hair.

Just for Fun: I'm not even kidding, Addise whips her hair back and forth like this in the bathtub when her curls are long and wild. She cracks me up!!

Hope this helps! Would LOVE your thoughts, comments, and ideas, too. I love learning and getting better at this.

February In Review

What a month it's been. I'm humored that it's Leap Year tomorrow because it has felt like we've fit in at least one more day this month than is normally calendared. Referencing a quote referring to parenting little ones feels very apropos: "the days go slow and the years go so fast".

Here are a few of the highlights from our past 28 days...

The month began with a brave and committed attempt to potty train our first two children. With carpets lined with plastic and counter-tops filled with fun drinks and celebration treats, we began potty training first thing Saturday morning.  Judah was a superstar and was literally potty trained by his nap. Since then, he's only had a couple accidents and stays dry most every nap and overnight. His confidence, independence, and overall joy-factor has increased exponentially. So have ours. Addise is another story. Our strong willed daughter had no problem peeing all over herself and standing in her urine. Un-phased. We quit potty training her in about 24 hours after she proved no interest or desire to follow her brother's lead. Hopefully we'll get her taken care of before baby #3 enters the party.

You can tell Judah is already so proud (and modest). PS. his shirt says, "my dad's tattoos are cooler than yours". My mom bought him this shirt. Awesome.

Capri Sun 100% Juice was a great incentive!

So proud of him! Thomas the Train undies are his favorite. Mommy's favorite are Paul Frank undies.

Shortly after our potty training failure, our baby girl turned two years old. She's still topping the height and weight charts, as is her daily word count. We decided to celebrate her birthday by renewing our Disneyland annual passports and spending a couple days there as a family. Seeing the happiest place on earth through the eyes of our kids is truly magical!

Our beautiful giant on her birthday holding her "big" brother's hand. Poofs and all.

After riding "It's a Small World" at Disney. Fitting for our multi-cultural family.

Love her buttery skin, expressive eyes, and ever-moving mouth.

Exploring her blocks from Grandma and Grandpa. LOVE them.

We also were gifted by a friend with a photo shoot to capture Addise's 2nd birthday and our 1 year anniversary as a family. We went to Balboa Pier on the ocean and had a blast snapping pics of our crazy kiddos on a sunny, warm February Friday.

Loving each other on the pier

Like father like son

How do you put a caption to this??

Oh, yeah. And I'm now 6 months pregnant with our son. This has undeniably been the best month of pregnancy. Of course, I'm still exhausted and uncomfortable at any given moment, but I'm grateful to feel our son kick to his heart's delight. Last night I felt his hiccups for the first time. He also is very fond of digging into my ribs. I'm less fond of this. My pregnancy app says he's now 2 pounds and 10+ inches long. I'm dreaming of him exiting the womb with a head full of dark curls like his daddy and praying some Puerto Rican genes win out. In other news, I'm losing my belly button at an alarming rate, all my shoes are cutting off circulation, and rolling my body out of our Honda Civics is proving more difficult by the day. Perhaps the most entertaining pregnancy news was the overnight swelling of my ring finger. For 5 days I diligently attempted to remove my rings with every known technique and product. To no avail. Finally, I went to a jewelers per my grandmother's urging and they CUT OFF my engagement and wedding rings. The jeweler affirmed those babies had to get off STAT.

Before.

After. Yes, my finger is bruised.

I also began registering for baby #3 and shockingly realized that I have now registered for MORE items for our newborn/infant son, than I did for Judah and Addise combined. What?!?! The amount of "stuff" required for a breastfeeding infant is a bit overwhelming.

Brian's birthday and Valentine's Day also went celebrated as we got two date nights this month. What a gift!

Throughout the month I've also been doing some mad research on a couple major purchases that need to be made in the before labor and delivery. Due to 3 kids in car seats for the next several years, we have to move from a Honda Civic to a minivan. Yes. It's true. However, I'm getting quite excited about this purchase as my bulging body and growing toddlers are oozing out of our economy car. We are also exploring remodeling our master bathroom to include a stackable washer-dryer unit. The amount of laundry we do without an infant is mind-boggling and has become unmanageable in a shared laundry room. In an 1100 sq ft condo, we are having to maximize every square inch of our space. We are praying for some divine miracles in these two purchases and trusting God to provide exactly what our family needs. We've already seen him move in extraordinary ways and believe he'll do it once again.

So, that's our month in review. Celebration. Preparation. Anticipation. Here's to March...

Our Girl is Two!

This week my baby girl turned two years old. When we first laid eyes on our daughter she looks so much like she does today...if only we knew who God was giving us.

The first time I laid eyes on her.

Only love...

We celebrated her first birthday only 3 weeks after we came home. My poor baby never had a cupcake in her life. But she loved it!

All chunks and rolls. And sugar.

I think she liked it. Only 2 teeth on her first birthday.

Thursday morning before I got her out of bed, I heard her talking Judah's ear off [per the norm]. The first word I heard her squeal was "MINE". Her first word on her second birthday. Of course.

In celebration of her birthday and life, here are a few things that make our little girl exactly who we love and who exasperates us daily...

• My favorite words she says these days are: "wa-wee" [water] which she seemingly drinks by the gallon, something that resembles "here ya are, mommy", and "daddy's silly". Totally endearing.
• She just as enthusiastically will tell her brother [or her parents, truth be told!], "[s]top it!" Lord, have mercy.
• Playfully yet filled with unknown authority, Addise will point her finger at anything breathing and exclaim, "jeeba boba gee...". Or something like that. We have no idea what she's saying but she's preaching it. That is for sure.
• Though fearless in situations she should have fear, she's terrified by an stray fuzzy on her hand. 
• She's still topping the height and weight charts. She's venturing into 3T clothes as a new 2 year old. 
• She kisses daddy profusely, even without request. And when I ask for a kiss, she'll often give it to her daddy instead and giggle in defiance at my desperate plea.
• Addise loves lifting her solid body off the ground - jumping up and down over and over again. She thinks she's quite funny and clever.
• She's drama for her momma - passionately crying for a little "owie", shedding crocodile tears when her feelings get hurt, and doubling-over in laughter at the silliest trick.
• We tried for about 24 hours to potty train our smarty pants and she wouldn't have it. She was content peeing down her leg and standing in her own urine pool. Unashamed. Uninterested in sitting on her potty chair, unless she was fully clothed. 
• She's also very intrigued by all her arms can accomplish, mainly hitting and throwing. She prefers to hit her brother for any reason [unacceptable and results "trouble"] and throwing her toys across the room [same result as above].
• Perhaps my favorite and best descriptor of my girl is the common scene of her running laps around our living room/kitchen in her pink, bedazzled, costume shoes roaring like a lion. Take a moment to fully imagine that scene.

She is truly sugar and spice. Recently the word "FIERCE" has been used to describe her personality. I couldn't agree more.

Yet, in all things adoption, on her birthday I couldn't help but to think of the woman who gave birth to our daughter. Forever I am grateful that she bore Addise Aster Tarike into this world. As I carry our second son today, I also wonder about Addise's 9 months in the womb, her birth, and first months in this world. Though I can never fully understand her birth mother's sacrifice or Addise's story before God brought her to us, I stand in wonder at this amazing little girl and our redemptive God who gave her to us.

Happy Birthday, Addise! We adore you.

We love you with an everlasting love for all you are 

and all you bring to our lives.

Captured on Balboa Pier