#3...#1?

Today I sent an email to our CWA case manager to get an update on where we are in the infamous "waiting room". I haven't asked for 3 months, but I was getting quite intrigued. When we started on the waiting list, we were around #30-something.

She responded back with: "there are three other families in front of you, but even within that there are variables of maybe they'd take one [child] instead of two." I read her email with very groggy eyes soon after getting out of bed and immediately was wide awake! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?!?! Please pray that this list moves even faster and we get our referral soon, especially in light of the potentially changing laws with 2 trips to Ethiopia instead of just 1.

All along we've been begging people to pray "EXPEDITE" for our little ones coming home. Looks like God's answering already (or I could be misreading him!). Even as I type there are tears as I think about kissing and holding my kiddos in my arms. Come quickly, Lord.

Exit Wounds

Today was another marker of healing and growth. I drove past the highway exit where I had all my infertility treatment. And I didn't want to burst in tears.

For 6+ months I made countless trips to our infertility doctor. Every time I exited 57N on Imperial Highway [actual picture], I was filled with some sort of emotion: fear, anxiety, hope, anticipation, curiosity. As I would approach this exit I could hardly believe this was a part of my story: receiving treatment from an infertility specialist so we could get pregnant. The old fashioned way of conceiving wasn't happening for us. We were healthy. We were young. We were watching all the signs and doing all the right things. And yet. I had to exit 57N at Lambert/Imperial Highway. Dozens of times. It seemed as if the wound only got bigger every time I exited to highway.

This drive wasn't just filled with emotion, it was filled with questions, pleas to God, worship music, silence, and holding hands with Brian.

Yet as I passed this infamous exit today, the wound wasn't nearly a big or raw or emotional. It still stung, but it was more like a scar than an open wound. I thought about more today about the healing a year brings. I thought about our 2 little ones in Ethiopia - likely our older was is born and the other is either a newborn or in utero. And I thought about the mysteries God's already revealed through our infertility. And the ones he's yet to reveal. And the mysteries he might never reveal in this life. I'm grateful and tender. 57N is no longer the exit wound it once was.

Redemption Song :: Hope for Haiti

My heart continues to be pulled to Haiti, especially to all the new orphans this crisis has created. I went to Haiti when I was in high school on a mission's trip. It was there I fell in love with those who are poor - not just statistics, people with names and faces and stories. Perhaps it was there that God implanted in my heart a love for Africa [95% of Haitians are from African descent].

I heard Rihanna sing the redemption song [Bob Marley's], and wanted to post as a prayer for our brothers and sisters in Haiti. As Rihanna said, please don't think the problem will solve itself. Give in whatever way you can...we have much to share with those in need.