An Adoption Prayer

One of the things which needs to be talked about more with adoption are the deep, spiritual wounds our children come to us with. I'm so grateful that before Judah and Addise came home our wise, trusted pastor-friends, Ed and Stephen, taught us what we immediately needed to do with our kiddos.

They taught us about breaking off spiritual curses and generational sin, cleansing their bloodlines, restoring wounds that may have incurred from a traumatic conception, pregnancy, or birth. The impact from not praying through these issues for our kids can be huge! Night terrors, shame-based or destructive behaviors, attachment struggles, food issues, lying, hoarding, lack of belonging, lack healthy emotional reactions....the list is as extensive as the spiritual brokenness.

Many of these wounds can be prayed through simply with a couple prayers sessions. But I don't know what we would've done without this wisdom.

We experienced some of their wounds within the first week of parenting, particularly on our flight home from Ethiopia. Without going into graphic detail, we experienced intense spiritual warfare and activity with one of our kids from the time we entered U.S airspace (literally!) all the way through U.S customs. We couldn't even make it to customs for what seemed an eternity because of the intense warfare. Our child was wailing out of control, thrashing their body, totally hysterical. We were texting family, close friends, and our pastoral connections begging for them to intercede on our child's behalf. Some thing was happening in the spiritual realm that could not be described in human language.

By the time we made it to customs nearly 2 hours later, all four of us were crying as we got our passports stamped and the officer said "welcome home".

Even in recent days we've seen an increase of wounds emerge with one of our kids. The shift of emotional response was clear enough that we were able to identify this as a wound opening from their past.

Two and a half years later we are in the thick of dealing with their trauma again. I don't expect this will be the last time, too. In fact, it is very normative for kids from hard places to surface old wounds when 1) their environment changes, 2) they feel safe to express that pain, 3) they have the resources available for the wound to be healed. I've seen that in my own kids and the research would agree.

Only a couple months ago I came across this prayer. Within reading a few lines I was weeping. I hope you'll find this resource so practical in helping your child heal from their past. With love and prayers as you parent and provide refuge for kids from hard places.

We say to you in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,
that your life is not a mistake.
God made you out of the love that he is. 
He called you into being at the right time and the right place.
He prepared a way for you and gave his life for you.
You are a privilege, not a burden;
a joy and a delight, not an intrusion.
You belong!
You are a treasure just because you are,
and not for what you can do.
You are one of the Father God's children,
and he delights in you, and we delight in you.

Lord, we ask you to destroy the lies this child has accepted.
We bring them to the cross with every destructive attitude, 
expectation, and personality structure or habit pattern.
We see you, Lord, pouring your love all about the child
breathing a fresh breath of life into his/her spirit,
wrapping strong welcoming arms about the child, 
and inviting him/her to grow into the fullness of his/her own life
restfully as you planned for him/her from the beginning.
We pray that the inner child be enabled to forgive those who wounded him/her.
We also pray that the child himself/herself be forgiven his/her negative responses.
We pour the healing love of Jesus into this wounded spirit like a healing balm.
We ask you to gift                   with a sovereign gift of trust and rest and peace, and 
let his/her entire being be integrated with wholeness and harmony
as (s)he is reconciled to being who (s)he is where (s)he is.

Now, we place the cross of Christ (the stopping place of all sin)
between                    and his/her parents and his/her parents' parents
all the way back through his/her generations
declaring that all of his/her inheritance be filtered through the cross. 
All decendancy of evil, every curse coming to the child
through his/her family line must stop on that cross.
We ask you, Lord, to hide the child in your own heart
and to cast light in the eyes of any powers of darkness
that might attempt to oppress or afflict or prevent his/her life.
We stand in the authority of Jesus Christ against such powers.

Finally, we place a blessing in the name of Jesus on                 's life.
We ask you, Lord, to melt any hardness of the heart,
to strengthen him/her with might in the inner man (spirit),
to enlighten the eyes of the heart,
to draw him/her to his/her destiny and
to place a mantle of protection on him/her.

taken from Family Foundations International


2 Comments

April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.

A Look into Adoption from an 8th Grader's Perspective

Brooke is one of the most creative, articulate, wise, "old souls" I've ever know. She's graduating from 8th grade this month. Two years ago her family adopted a beautiful, sweet, boy from Korea. The past couple years haven't been the easiest like some adoptive families would like you to believe about their "happily ever after". In some of the clearest words with simple, creative visuals Brooke tells her story and the story of her family.

Her story is a must-watch if you're adopting, know someone who has, or are considering adoption. It tells the whole story, and the whole story is worth telling.



** NOTE: Brooke's family attends our church. I got to know her last year when she was in my student leadership group. We've known her mom for years; she was our social worker when we were adopting Judah and Addise. We love this family. They gave me permission to share.

No Matter What

We say "I love you" a lot in our family. Words of affirmation are big for me. And I think that with as much loss as my first two kids have experienced, they need to hear those three words continuously. Those most important words need to burrow deep into their wounded souls and heal over all the pain they've experienced in their short little lives.

An old friend that I follow on Twitter says that when she sings lullabies to her 1 year old son at night, she finds herself only being able to sing "I love you. I love you. I love you." over and over again. In this broke down world, I don't think there's anything more important for a 1 year old to hear above anything else.

A few months ago a friend shared that in his family they add three words to "I love you". They say "I love you...no matter what". When I heard that, I knew it would become a Diaz family mantra. Judah and Addise are just catching on to those extra words. Now sometimes when I say "I love you" I'll let it hang in the air a little long and they'll sing out "NO MATTER WHAT". My heart soars!

Today, driving home Addise was beyond tired. She'd played hard at church all morning with her bestest friends and she needed a nap. Twenty minutes ago. We'd missed the window of "no meltdowns between church and home". It was going to be a grueling 15 minute car ride home. I was trying to ask her happy questions about church and her friends and her lunch, yet everything I asked her was met with defiance and anger. She was determined to be argumentative and negative about EVERYTHING I was saying to her. This went on for about 5 minutes. Just for kicks, it went a little like this:

Me: Addise, how was church? 

Addise: No mommy. No talking church.

Me: Addise, you don't tell mommy no. 

Addise: No mommy telling me no. 

I was exasperated with how to correct her attitude/behavior and still safely drive my minivan (that's right folks...swagger wagon). I whispered a breath prayer and the Holy Spirit opened my mouth and I sternly said, "ADDISE!" 

Addise: Yes? (in her soft sing songy voice) 

Me (still stern): I LOVE YOU! 

Addise (slightly softening): Mommy, you love me? 

Me (a little more tender): Yes, I love you. 

Addise (sweet as sweet can be): Mommy, you love me...no matter what? 

Me (humbly): Yes, baby, I love you no matter what.


 ...peaceful silence for the rest of the drive. I couldn't believe it. 

I had a similar experience a few days ago in the car with Judah. He was whiney over something silly but it somehow linked to his wounded past. His reaction was nonsensical (which should have alerted me to his tears being historic). He wouldn't stop after all my sane tactics. 

So I yelled at him. I mean I really let him have it. 

I was so angry and frazzled and done. Well, that didn't work (DUH!). He started SOBBING and again the gentleness of the Spirit nudged me. I apologized to my son. I asked him to forgive me. He said he did. But he didn't stop crying. Ugh. So the Spirit pushed a little more. 

Me: Judah, do you need me to tell you that I loved you. 

Judah (crying): Yes.

Me: Judah, I love you...no matter what. I'm sorry buddy. 

Judah: Thanks mom. Love you too.

With those six words, he stopped crying and flipped a switch into happy Judah-boy mode. I think he saw a bulldozer on the side of the road and he was eager to tell me about it.

It's so easy to think that though my kids have been home with me for close to two years that their wounds are already healed because of all the love and intention we've poured into them. But these past few days have been reminders of how desperate they are to still hear...


I love you. No matter what.

I suppose they aren't that much different than you or me.
3 Comments

April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.