Working Mom :: Co-Parenting

When people ask me how I can be the kind of mom I want to be AND work full-time, I tell them 2 things. First, I have an amazingly supportive husband [without this the second point isn't even valid]. Second, I have an amazingly supportive employer with super a flexible work schedule.

It's the first point that I'll dedicate to this post. Brian does not see me as the primary parent. He doesn't think that it's more my job to parent in these early years. He doesn't believe his primary job is to provide financially for our family. He views his primary job as being the best husband and father he can be. He doesn't value career over fatherhood. And he honors my calling as a pastor AND a mother. Because of these foundational beliefs, we are able to co-parent our children.

Practically, co-parenting means that Brian changes diapers, prepares meals, dresses our kids, puts them to bed, bathes them, and nurtures them with me. There is nothing I do that Brian doesn't do. Some days he does more of these things than I do. Other days, I carry the load more. But the point is that we both view and practice the daily grind of caring for 2 toddlers equally. We honor that we both have roles and responsibilities beyond parenting that we need to be healthy and whole. We support our individual needs so that we can bring our best to our marriage and kids.

We are learning how to do this better, too! We are learning how to parent from our strengths and draw from each others best contributions. We are struggling to find boundaries with work and play. We are seeking counsel and support from other parents we admire. We are facing our limits in very, very full lives. We are failing daily!! But our failure and struggle only increases our desire to co-parent. We need each other, desperately, to raise these 2 little people to fully become themselves.

Co-parenting. I'm a fan!

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April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.