Letting Go - Parenting 101

One of the hardest things for me in recent months is the reality that our oldest kiddo is alive somewhere in Ethiopia. Who knows where they are living? Who's taking care of them? Is (s)he sick or in need medically? I wonder if their birth momma is alive, or sick, or dying? And then I start wondering about their little brother/sister (biological or not). Is (s)he born yet or still in utero? What's their story with their birth parents? When will they get into a safe orphanage? Who will care for both our babies before we get to bring them home?
For a little while, those questions haunted me. They messed me up and brought me to tears. But I've been learning Parenting 101 Lesson: Letting Go. I've been learning that letting go doesn't mean that I don't care about their well-being. Letting go means that I put my trust in the One who cares the most for them. It means that I believe God will care for them - physically, emotionally, parentally - even better than I will.

Honestly, sometimes it's hard to trust that God will care for them during this waiting period. Not impossible, but hard. But the truth is that even when I have my babies home, it's a false sense of control, security, and power that I can ultimately protect them and care for them. In fact, God their Father and Mother is their Protector, no matter their home or guardians.

These kids are not my own. They are God's. Perhaps it's more obvious in adoption, but equally as true. Brian and I are gonna do our best to take care of them, but we will be learning to let them go every day.

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April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.

A Lament

One of the deals I've made with God about my pain [like that actually works anyway!] is that I will use it for good. I will learn from it. And I will share what I'm learning with others so that it might be redeemed. The following passage from Lamentations also reminds me not to forget and where I need to place my hope...

Lamentations 3:20-26, 32-33, 40, 55- 57

20 I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
21 Yet I still dare to hope

when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

32 Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
33 For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.

40 ... let us test and examine our ways.
Let us turn back to the Lord.
55 ... I called on your name, Lord,
56 You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading!
Hear my cry for help!”
57 Yes, you came when I called;
you told me, “Do not fear.”

**Thanks Kim for sharing!

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April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.

Daddy's Birthday

Today is Daddy's birthday! Next year at this time, Brian will not just be "ah-BY-ay" [daddy] at heart, he'll be "ah-BY-ay" in practice.
To our little ones: Just a few things you have to look forward to in your daddy.
Your ah-BY-ay is...

  • kind beyond words
  • thoughtful
  • the strongest and most tender man I've ever met
  • really, incredibly funny and silly. But you have to listen to it to get it!
  • really fun to watch sports with
  • family centered. He loves your momma very much and always put me first. And he's very committed to raising you with me. We're going to take care of you together every day.
  • a great chef. Get ready for some Puerto Rican food!
  • really responsible. He'll take really good care of you.
  • a really good listener. When you have a good day or a bad day, he'll listen to you. And when it's right, he'll give you really good advice.
  • a hard worker and he works with great integrity.
  • your daddy...that's the best part!

And that's just a short list that took me a few minutes to write. You're gonna love him. We can't wait to celebrate his next birthday with you!!

Love, Your eh-MY-ay

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April L. Diaz

April has been a visionary activist her entire life. She has made it her mission to lead high performing teams and develop leaders in the margins of society while caring for our bodies, mind, and spirit. Secretly, she’s a mix of a total girly girl and a tomboy, and is still crazy about her high school sweetheart, Brian. Together, they co-parent 3 fabulous kiddos and live in Orange County, CA.